Time to review the Wilderness Water Park and Golf Resort in Wisconsin Dells, WI.
I'm still here, but it's the third morning and I'm hunched over coffee, not yet able to face more wild water rides and screaming children. My condo is a safe haven, presently. Anyhow, I'm not sure how to actually get into the meat of this review. There's so much to talk about...
OK, lets begin with the town of Wisconsin Dells, itself. Ha ha! That's because it will be short and easy:) The Dells seems to be a bustling, busy fun-filled, typical tourist town as you drive through. That's all I know, because that's all I've ever done-drive through. And that's because I come here and stay at the Wilderness Resort and don't need to leave for the duration of the vacation. Everything you need in a vacation is contained in this resort.
The hotel/condo/cabin complex:
I haven't actually seen the numbers, but I'll take a shot in the dark and say this complex can accommodate somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 people. It's sprawling to say the least. Last year, PW, LP and I stayed in a King fireplace suite in the wilderness area at the South end of the resort. This time around, we reserved a two-bedroom condo with an adjoining double queen room (It seems this is how they make a three-bedroom condo here and we LOVE the setup). The rooms are well-appointed, with a pleasing, mid-western, rustic decor. Rough-hewn timbers, and log furniture. Very comfortable, roomy and clean. Our kitchen is well-appointed and had everything we needed except a blender and one more large pot-not bad when you consider we were cooking for three families. Our condo is located in the Northern half circle, overlooking Glacier Canyon water park and nearly all accommodations are within spitting distance of one water park, or another. The only exceptions are the Wilderness on the Lake condos and some of the cabins, but a shuttle gets to and from the lake accommodations and the cabins are only a few yards away. I'd rate accessibility as better than Disney World accommodations and just as well-appointed.
The only hitch we've had in two vacations here was a very slow draining tub in one of the bathrooms that wasn't fixed during our stay. Housekeeping left a little to be desired as well. Part of that had to do with our lazy asses unable to get out of the condo early enough, but they could've made an effort to return later in the day to do a more thorough job. Not easy to do with over 200 condos, 5,341 rooms (whatever), and probably a hundred cabins, but it's the extra effort that keeps people coming back and never in my life has the vacation buck been more precious. They should have this in mind, especially with Lake Delton, just next door, nothing more than a mosquito-ridden mud hole.
The water parks:
Ho Lee Fuk. There are...six water parks, three indoor and three outdoor parks. One indoor park is a giant wave pool, kiddie park and also boasts 2 big, water rides, 5-story tube rides;one body slide and one you ride a 4-person tube down. Each water park has pools, hot tubs, kiddie areas and rides, water slides, cannons, lazy rivers, etc. Each one also has ample lounge chairs, tables (unless the place is filled to capacity; then you better dig deep, find the German Tourist inside yourself and get up as soon as your target park opens and stake out a claim with towels and personal effects). Each park also has locker rooms, a restaurant, shop with suits, sun tan lotions, etc., and a couple bars. The indoor and outdoor parks are also paired up so you can take advantage of two parks from one lounge chair:) Only Glacier Canyon outdoor park is isolated, across a skyway, or outdoor bridge. It seems, however, this is soon to change with the addition of two more parks, on indoor and one outdoor, right next door. Finally, at all parks, you can also rent cabanas, complete with wide screen TV's, bar maids and chains across them to keep out the riff-raff. For a hundred bucks per day, you'd think they could loose the chains and hire a sumo wrestler to stand by instead.
Arcades/Playhouse:
There are at least two arcades. One is located in the Dodge 'em City & Timberland Playhouse, a giant and I mean GIANT 4 story playhouse/jungle gym complex full of tunnels, slides, stairs, nets, tennis ball cannons and fun. LP LOVES this place and we end our trip here, opting to give her a few hours here the day we check out and drive home-no wet swim suits and sun tan lotion to contend with on the way home:)
Other amenities:
This time around we were treated the riding stables:) A guided horseback ride through wooded, rolling hills, along a spectacular, limestone canyon. The horses are reign-trained and just what you would expect at a riding stable. The ride lasted at least an hour and contained a few surprises. After the ride, we stopped at the barnyard to feed the little goats, sheep and calves. LP loved the little goats and I admit they were pretty cute. We fed them ice cream cones full of corn and in some cases my shorts. I would highly recommend this change of pace, as a break from the non-stop fun and excitement of the water parks. It was peaceful, relaxing and very pleasant.
There's also a little place to make your own pottery, exercise rooms all over the hotel/condo complex, movie nights and probably 37 other activities I've missed in the two times I've been here. In winter, in addition to the indoor parks, there's a snowboard hill. The resort offers movies outside, campfires, baby-sitting, free tickets to the Tommy Bartlett show, golfing, magic shows, scuba diving, Snakes Alive show, balloon art, tye-dying, duck races and scavenger hunts. I'm not entirely sure how you pry the little ones away from the water parks for all this, but it's great that there are a host of other activities, I suppose just in case it rains.
Wrap up:
I'll not kid you; this place is a bit expensive. Accommodations are slightly high but worth every penny. They include access to every park. Park access is exclusively for guests, so lines are short, or non-existent. Food and drinks are very high priced; they've got you as a captive audience. The plan PW and Mr. Bud came up with is the way to go. Rent a condo for multiple families, reducing the cost. With a kitchen, you can bring your own food and cook, reducing costs even more. Drink a lot of booze? Bring your own beer, wine, pina colada mix and blender. Pack PLASTIC bottles to fill and take to the parks-no coolers or glass allowed. Drinks at the bars are convenient, but pricey. I believe that covers the high and low points. Not much else to say other than the staff are all friendly, helpful and in many cases pretty funny. We even had a favorite bartender, despite the fact that they move locations, daily. There are golf cart shuttles to get you around when tired. This place rocks for young and old. Oh yeah and they are also pushing a vacation time-share deal. This place may be the only place I've ever been to that I would even consider such a thing. I KNOW I'll be back at least once a year until LP is a teen-ager and refuses to be seen with her parents. Then? Well, maybe PW and I will still come...
